Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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