You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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