Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
