After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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