It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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