my being single is dangerous.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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