I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it hurts more in the daytime
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
