i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Your penis caused this!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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