If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
