I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ladies don't puke and tell
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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