So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
