Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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