It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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