She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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