That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
