My first STD was from a foam party
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
