My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
