Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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