my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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