i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
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new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
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And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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