I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
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P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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