you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize