I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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