the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
