This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize