I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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