I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
