mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
