naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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