So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
