I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
