i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
