I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
