If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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