butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
