the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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