If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
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I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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