I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
