I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
