u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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