he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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