that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
