They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
