She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
