there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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