so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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