Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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