I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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