I will die if light touches me.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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