i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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