I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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