You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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