She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As shirtless as possible
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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