you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
