Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize