She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
