Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
