Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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