I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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