Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she pinky promised me she was 18
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
