Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
